New- Need advice- Got a call for sibling set. - Adoption.com Forums

New- Need advice- Got a call for sibling set.

Hi, I'm new here & new to foster care & adoption. I meant to become more involved in this site ahead of time, but everything happens very quickly.

DH & I just finished our Foster PRIDE classes and are not "officially" licensed yet. We are foster-to-adopt. We are in IL and were told by our licensing worker that we'd probably get a call right away. Our home study is done, we had our final "walk through" yesterday & our paper work has been submitted to the state. Yesterday, our licensing worker told me about two different cases I would probably get a call about. One is a B/G sibling set, ages 6 & 7. The other is a 2wk old infant. He didn't know much about either, only that the 2wk old was exposed to drugs/alcohol.

Today the social worker for the B/G set called. I just spoke with my DH. We are both very unsure as to what to do.

This is our first time doing this, so aside from the PRIDE classes & parenting our own kids (4 teenage girls) we have zero experience.

So, the B/G set is looking for an adoptive home. They are 6 & 7 have been in care for 3-4 years. Two foster families: initial placement for 1 month, long term foster family for 3+ years. They are currently in an emergency/short term home, after being removed from their long term foster home.

The long term foster parents were going to adopt them & backed out at the last minute. Not sure why.

Details:
-Kids were taken into custody at 2 & 3 years old.
-Found living in a car with dad & unknown male.
-Both kids sexually abused.
-Both parents- TPR, kids are totally free. No contact with parents for 3+ years.
-No real behavioral issues, seem loving/able to attach, energetic, "bubbly."
-Girl- slightly manipulative, has made threats to "tell on the foster parents" to the workers for things like not taking her to McDonalds.
She did threaten the last foster family by telling them she was going to tell the social worker on the Dad.

My assumption is that she accused the foster parents/foster dad of abuse & they decided not to adopt.

I don't know what to do.
DH & I want to adopt boys- we have 4 girls & boys would be a welcome change.
I have no experience with sexual abuse...and we CANNOT handle a false allegation against my DH.
Their ages are great, we're looking for under 10 years old.

Any advice? The worker wants us to meet them tomorrow.

My gut is no...I'm so nervous about the sexual abuse. But on the other hand, we know it in advance. I'm sure there are tons of kids who have been abused who haven't told anyone yet.

If anyone could offer some advice, that would be great. In some respects the 2 week old drug baby would be easier I think.

I just don't know what to do!

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Last edited by fiveplus : Today at 12:59 PM.

Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/407109-new-need-advice-got-call-sibling-set.html

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